I'm going to tell this story as if it was told to me yesterday, but in all reality, it happened 4 years ago,(roughly 2004)
So... I have a friend named Jon. Jon has a girlfriend Ashley. Now.. Jon is a real built guy, about 6'2, benches 260, etc,.. etc. Jon's girlfriend is a Petite girl who suffers from a common disease.. Noassatall. Yes, it exists, and you can look it up if you don't know what I'm talking about. Anyway.. they have been dating for about 8 months. One afternoon he goes to her parents house to visit her / pick her up. They hang out for a while, watch tv, and eventually start having sex. Now.. Jon loves anal sex (FDA) and usually so does his girlfriend.... At least from what he told me, which was that they do it all the time. So, Jon was fucking her for a while, and decides.. ITS TIME FOR ANAL! so, he starts fucking her in her ass. Unfortunately on this Wednesday afternoon, Ashley had not been feeling too well. She started screaming "OMG STOP STOP STOP, MY STOMACH!!! STOP" Most of you can guess what happened next, he stops, pulls out, and YUPPPP..... she shits (diarrhea) all over the couch (moms couch).
Jon, obviously disgusted by this, runs to the bathroom to wash off his tinted brown dick. Before he could even come out, he hears another "OMG!" scream, coming from his girlfriend. The scream was similar to the first one, but this one was a bit more panicky and less painful. Ashley's mom had just pulled in the driveway. With less then five minutes to clean up the shit stained couch, they did all they could, and left the room. Her mom walks in, and a few moments later, Jon hears another "OMG" scream coming from her mother as she discovers the shit mess on the couch. Ashley runs in the room, and quickly comes up with a somewhat believable story. Mom! Garfield (the family cat) has been real sick throwing up all day, and now this! I don't know if he has eaten something or what but I think you should bring him to the vet.
10 minutes later, Jon and Ashley left to go out to eat and get some drinks, and later that night, he took her home ...
.
.
the next afternoon, when we are all eating lunch at the uMass dining hall, he tells us this story, and on the walk back to the dorms, he gets a phone call from Ashley. She is crying historically, and could barely get the words out... but after a few tries, he knew what she had said.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
SHE HAD HIM PUT TO SLEEEP!
So... I have a friend named Jon. Jon has a girlfriend Ashley. Now.. Jon is a real built guy, about 6'2, benches 260, etc,.. etc. Jon's girlfriend is a Petite girl who suffers from a common disease.. Noassatall. Yes, it exists, and you can look it up if you don't know what I'm talking about. Anyway.. they have been dating for about 8 months. One afternoon he goes to her parents house to visit her / pick her up. They hang out for a while, watch tv, and eventually start having sex. Now.. Jon loves anal sex (FDA) and usually so does his girlfriend.... At least from what he told me, which was that they do it all the time. So, Jon was fucking her for a while, and decides.. ITS TIME FOR ANAL! so, he starts fucking her in her ass. Unfortunately on this Wednesday afternoon, Ashley had not been feeling too well. She started screaming "OMG STOP STOP STOP, MY STOMACH!!! STOP" Most of you can guess what happened next, he stops, pulls out, and YUPPPP..... she shits (diarrhea) all over the couch (moms couch).
Jon, obviously disgusted by this, runs to the bathroom to wash off his tinted brown dick. Before he could even come out, he hears another "OMG!" scream, coming from his girlfriend. The scream was similar to the first one, but this one was a bit more panicky and less painful. Ashley's mom had just pulled in the driveway. With less then five minutes to clean up the shit stained couch, they did all they could, and left the room. Her mom walks in, and a few moments later, Jon hears another "OMG" scream coming from her mother as she discovers the shit mess on the couch. Ashley runs in the room, and quickly comes up with a somewhat believable story. Mom! Garfield (the family cat) has been real sick throwing up all day, and now this! I don't know if he has eaten something or what but I think you should bring him to the vet.
10 minutes later, Jon and Ashley left to go out to eat and get some drinks, and later that night, he took her home ...
.
.
the next afternoon, when we are all eating lunch at the uMass dining hall, he tells us this story, and on the walk back to the dorms, he gets a phone call from Ashley. She is crying historically, and could barely get the words out... but after a few tries, he knew what she had said.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
SHE HAD HIM PUT TO SLEEEP!
1 comment:
Your friends are pieces of shit, no pun intended...
Look, I could care less what your friend chooses to do, as well as the girlfriend. If she wants to have rectal problems later in life, thats on her.
Had this bitch in question been a REAL woman, she would've admitted to mom that she was feelin' ill and couldn't make it to the bathroom. But no. She went and done had her cat killed. May she always feel guilt and suffer for this. She (& her man) are garbage.
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