Spending the night in jail

I will not go over the events that took place to put myself in jail for the night, because the court date is still pending, but this is pretty much what you can expect if in a similar situation.

by the way, you need a torx # 9 screw driver to loosen the hand cuffs.

Being Processed

A large man with no degree or ambitions asks me for my license in the rudest way possible. He is probably a cop wannabe or maybe he likes power-tripping, either way, i don't care. go home to your fat ass pregnant wife and leave me alone.

The Cell

No jail bars, just solid walls. There is a metal shelf about 24 inches off the ground, 36 inches wide, by 72 inches long. A metal toilet also sits in the front center of the room, there is no toilet paper or soap, just a button that flushes.

Passing the time.

The overhead light within the jail cell itself is fluorescent, yet it is too bright to actually get some sleep in, ( I tried taking it apart to shut it off, and had no luck) so the only way I could fall asleep was to sleep underneath the metal shelf, so that there was no direct light.

Working out is a great way to pass the time. See how many sets of sit ups and push ups you can do. I kept doing them until my arms gave in and i collapsed. Leg lifts are great for abs too.

Throwing up is also a great way to pass the time. I threw up about 3-5 times during the night, it helps you not only to sober up, but it's also a great way to pass the time and loose a few extra lbs! Eventually, you come to the end, and are only left with bile.

When the guard finally does come some time around 10:30 am, (after his morning's 9th doughnut and coffee) he will supply you with (1) Plane Hamburger from McDonald's. The previous inmate decided to use the hamburger wrapper as design paper and the ketchup as glue, to create a Van Gogh on the wall. I would have proceeded to carry on his work/masterpiece, but I was suffering from advanced fatigue, and I had eaten all of my ketchup, it helped line my stomach.

Expect for pay $75-$100 when being released.


tell your boyfriend, that if he's got some beef, that i'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him.